There have been a lot of thoughts on my mind lately, but I have been trouble keeping track of them all. A brilliant idea will hit me like a strike of lightning, and disappear before I can write it down. I will wake up from a dream with lots of hazy allusions that I am not sure how to interpret. I feel ready to run & ready to settle at the same time. I keep thinking about how little I have seen and done, and wondering when I will fit all the things I want to do in. Because if we don't make time, nothing will get done. I have been baking away, but none of those things will magically appear on the internet unless I take the time to sort through the extraneous photographs and turn some of this noise in my head into cohesive sentences.
Today Greg and I went to Roosevelt Island and wondered around the paths. We talked about driving across the country. How I haven't ever seen the Pacific Ocean. How we should visit all the cities we have never been to and see all the friends we haven't seen in too long. We are starting to feel a little stagnant in this city. Weighed down by the things we don't enjoy here. Hopeful about starting over in a new place. But here we are wondering swampy forest paths we have never seen before in a city I have only lived in for 2 years. When is it giving up too soon? When is wanderlust just a state of mind?
Lavender is one of those haunting ingredients. Much like honeysuckle, it reminds me of the country and smells like home. But as a flavor it morphs into something entirely else. More elite. Something you see infused in chocolates or ice creams in fancy shops in the city. Sparingly used, but perfection when it's done right. A middle road I am searching for.
makes just shy of one gallon
1/2 cup dried lavender flowers
2 cups sugar
approximately 14 lemons
12 cups water
In a stockpot combine 4 cups of water with the sugar. Bring to a boil & remove from heat. Add lavender, stirring until all flowers are soaked. Cover & allow to steep for 30 minutes. Strain, pressing out all the simple syrup. Juice all your lemons. Stir juice & lavender syrup into remaining water. Stir, sip, & adjust to your preferences. Depending on the tartness of the lemons, I sometimes use a few more. I also have a tendency to reserve a little syrup just in case the lemons are sweeter than normal.
The other day it started lightly raining as I was driving my long trek home. I saw a bright flash of light and instinctively assumed it was either a red light or speed camera. I am so disconnected from nature, that lightning didn't actually cross my mind until I saw the second flash. Later that night we sat in a beautiful, old movie theatre. All I could think about was how long it's been since I have been to a drive-in. I love the city, but I love being in the middle of nowhere. Where I do fit in this paradigm? There's a beautiful sunset over DC, but I certainly won't see the stars tonight.